As you settle into your life as a police wife (read: spouse), you’ll slowly start to come to terms that bothered you at first. Your officer will pick up a lot of new habits from this job, and, in turn, so will you. Here are 4 of the most common side effects of being a police wife:
1. Speeding, Part 1
At first, when your officer drives, you shoot side glances at the speedometer as you’re barreling down the highway. You may give the occasional passive-aggressive “What’s the speed limit on this road?” or the “We’re not in your patrol car, honey.” You might even throw in a, “Remember, the kids are in the car” or “Now, what happens if you get pulled over?” Eventually, you start to feel as though you’re crawling if you’re not going over the speed limit and you come to terms with the fact that they’ve been trained in defensive driving and have more driving hours in a weekend then you do in a month.
2. Speeding, Part 2
Have you gotten the comments? “The speed limit is 55, how fast are you going?” “You can go at least 5 over here.” “You’re safe as long as you keep it under 80.” At first, it’s annoying. You know how to drive. You passed your test and got your license. You may even have less tickets than your officer. But, one day, you give in to the pestering and you rev it up a couple of miles per hour. Slowly, but surely, you start getting a lead foot. Eventually, you find the speed that makes your officer happy and works for you without you being afraid of getting pulled over (or, maybe you like the challenge?). It becomes first nature and you start yelling at people who aren’t going “the speed limit” (read, at least 5 over).
3. Guessing Infractions
Am I the only one that annoys my officer with this game on long drives (or short ones)? I mean, they are the ones that start it. They practice at the start of their career: calling out cars they see infractions with, telling you what cars are the best for warrants, etc. Eventually, it dies down on their end. And then, you find yourself asking questions. “Tail light out, would you pull them over?” “Expired tabs.” “Exhaust is too loud, do you think they have warrants?” “Are they wearing their seat belt?” “Obviously texting, could you get them on that one?”
If you’re anything like me, your officer may have picked up this bad habit from their shift buddies, and you may have picked it up from your officer. At first, you are a little put off by this newfound potty mouth. And then, you start to get used to it and tune it out. Next, you find yourself slowly starting to add it into your vocabulary from time to time. And, finally, one day, you trip over the Octopod and the first thing that comes out of your mouth is, “Son of a bitch, you stupid f*cking piece of plastic shit!” You stand there bewildered by the fact that you just became a pirate, but also by the fact that it was quite pleasant in the stress release category of your life. In turn, you just come to terms with the fact that you have a potty mouth and you’ll try your best to keep it clean around your kids and anyone else who may be offended by it.